I could fall in love with you exactly as you are. I can do it today because I am equipped to do so. God has given me drive, determination & a generous heart that is happiest when caring for others but, would I be in love with you... or just the idea of being in love?
The last guy I dated... Hmph, could I call it dated? Not too sure I should. Anyway, in my opinion, the last guy I dated was more in love with the idea of dating, by which I mean... he was in love with the idea of dating me and less committed to the concept of loving me and all that loving me entailed. To be sure, I am vain but I do not make this statement out of conceit. He dated... he's dating now... he just didn't date me. Maybe he thought with our history (we’ve known each other for years… I mean YEARS) he didn’t have to date me.
There was a fairy tale in our story & I wasn't cooperating. I had the princess part down but, in his eyes I think that is all I had. Personally, I did not want to skip steps in our courtship. I wanted to be head over heels in love with him for every reason imaginable... I - I - I... I wanted to not be infatuated but adored. Notice all the "I"s? We wanted different things. We called it off. I am not sure that the calling off of that aspect of our relationship was mutual. Things are awkward now between us. We are making progress to get somewhere close to the intimacy and familiarity we once had but, sometimes it's exhausting; especially when I felt as if I was the only one trying to get back what we once had.