I love him. I am not that complicated when it comes to love and what I love. I am a sucker for a few things; nice strong arms, a sense of humor and a sexy masculine voice. Jason Phillips, bka Jadakiss, has a voice that sounds like he just woke up. That in itself is sexy to me. It is not enough to make me love him but it is enough to pique my interest. What makes me love him the most are his lyrics and how he delivers them. He sound so sincere. When he says "I'm always here for you to talk to, Hold your head high when you walk through, Sometimes the devil's temptation would force you, One thing about the Lord,He'd never cross you, Look at all the bad things that they tried to do to you, And you're still queen of this earth and you're beautiful, Everything happens for a reason, If you ever need me, Call me, I'm coming through squeezing." I believe it. I believe it all, that he thinks I'm beautiful and more importantly, that he'd kill for me. Of course I don't want him to kill for me but, I do want someone in my life who I know will drop everything to come to me when I need him. I was at a poetry reading Sunday and the host asked me what three things do I require in a man, my man. Ok, he said two but, that was too much of a challenge and when another member of the audience suggested three things, I jumped on that. My three things were (and I reserve the right to change these without notice) (1) Commitment to Family, (2) Be employed & (3) Read.
I think Jada would come when I called him. I mean, you can't just say you are committed to your family and expect me to believe it. You have to show by your actions that you are committed to your family. Honestly, I think that whatever you claim should be displayed by your actions. And I want someone who will adore me, fight for me; someone who knows my value. Because I hate fake people who pretend until they have what they want and then it's back to being phony. Oh snap, so does Jada Jada. He abhor's fake people. So, I also love him because we hate the same type of people. If you're real and you know it clap ya hands. 
You know, the more I think about it the more I realize that this will never work; my love for Jada. Not just because of his lack of knowledge of my existence. It wont work because even though I will have the run of the bathroom because well, I have hair and he does not. And even though we can get matching tattoos because he apparently loves getting inked up and I'm not opposed to it (as long as he's paying). And even though he fits my man image of not being pretty (the only pretty man I can truly love is Maxwell. What'd you say about Prince? Well, Prince doesn't count, because he's BEAUTIFUL!). Anyway, I have not supported him in the way that I should support the man I love. I have three of his songs on my iPod. *hanging head in shame* I'm sorry baby, I will do better to show my support of you. And when I have become his number one fan (because as his partner I should be his number one supporter) we can make this work. He and I will be the new Beyonce & Jay-Z, Michelle and Barack... who am I kidding, we'll be Oprah and Steadman. I do not like to be in the limelight. Yes, you'll be Oprah and I will just be your silent but incomparable partner (Steadman). I am the standard people.
We will go to the supermarket in matching gym shorts and he will never have to smile because I smile enough for the both of us.
Until then, my unrequited love for Jada will live on forever. Or until I meet a gentleman on the train who strikes my fancy or in the gym... or something. Which ever comes first.
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| I love you too baby. |
